Goodbye For Now

By: Brandon James Scott Scholl

Jason knocked on the front door to Michelle Lawson’s house. It was dark outside and the cold night air was making his breath visible in front of him. The front door opened and Michelle’s father was standing in the doorway.
“Hello Jason. How are you,” Michelle’s father said.
“I’m doing alright, Mr. Lawson. Do you mind if Michelle comes out for a few minutes? I need to talk to her.” Jason felt his insides churn. This evening was not only one that he would never forget, but one that would haunt him for a long time.
The door opened wider and Michelle stepped out, closing the door behind her. Jason motioned to go to the back yard where Michelle sat down on a bench and Jason stood in front of her.
He could help but stare at how beautiful she was. Her piercing green eyes seemed to look right through him. They were so full of life and love. Love for him. Her shoulder length, brown hair slightly blowing in the chilled breeze. Seeing this only made what he was going to say next even harder.
“Michelle, I’m having to go away for a little while.” Michelle looked confused.
“What do you mean go away,” She asked.
“My aunt and I, we’re going to France for a little while. We also don’t know when we’ll be back.” Michelle’s face turned instantly to sadness.
“How long will you be gone? How long is a little while?”
“I don’t know. Could be six months, could be longer or shorter. But we have to leave tomorrow morning.”
“But you just got back from your last trip. We finally have some time to spend together and you’re leaving? You don’t have to go.” Jason’s heart started to hurt. This was harder than he thought it was going to be.
“I have to. I don’t have a choice.” He could tell that she was on the verge of crying.
“Fine. Then I’ll wait for you. It’ll give you a reason to come back soon,” Michelle said with a shaky voice.
“Michelle, that’s the other thing I had to tell you. We can’t see each other anymore.” As the words left his mouth, he felt like he has just completely died inside. There was nothing he could do as he saw tears stream down her face. For the first time in his life, he felt completely helpless.
“What are you talking about,” she sobbed. “What’s wrong with you?”
“I’m sorry,” was all Jason had left that he could say. Michelle stood up from the bench and walked right up to him.
“You look me in the eyes and tell me right now that you don’t love me.”
With every last ounce of strength he had, he looked into her beautiful eyes and held back the tears.
“I don’t love you,” he said quietly. At that moment, more tears came down Michelle’s face. She collapsed onto the bench behind her and put her head in her hands.
There was nothing else he could do. Inside of him was a raging urge to tell her the truth. Tell her he was leaving because his country needed him. Tell her that he truly did love her. But, he couldn’t. He loved her too much to tell her these things. Telling her put her in danger. Leaving her here without doing this left her in danger too. His hands were tied.
He turned around and walked towards the front of the house, towards his car. He had to leave her there, destroyed. Nothing he could say or do could fix what happened. The cold night air froze him to his core. The feeling of numbness and emptiness was now complete.
He got in the car and his phone rang. He looked at the caller I.D. and answered it.
“Jason, it’s Mark. How'd it go?” Jason paused for a moment.
“Yeah. Just finished.”
“You okay man,” Mark asked.
“No,” Jason said with a slow sigh. “But it had to be done. If I’m in France and the terrorist cell found out she was my girlfriend, I wouldn’t be able to protect her. I just wish I could tell her.”
“Your country needs you man. You don’t have to do this though.”
“No, I’m not doing it for my country, I’m doing it for her. It’s something that has to be done. I’ll call you when I get back home.” Jason hung up. He looked at the house one last time and the shadow of Michelle ran to her father’s shadow. He started the car and a tear rolled down his face.
“I love you Michelle